On May 6, 2008 at 9:45pm, I posted on Facebook that I was “choosing LIFE” and not getting an abortion. And looking back on that moment, it was one of the best decisions I ever made.
And even though it can be extremely difficult at times, I don’t regret the choice of keeping her here. There were times I questioned my ability of providing for her (financially and emotionally) because I felt the odds were stacked against me and I was destined to fail.
But thankfully, I have a supportive mother that didn’t want to see me struggle like the rest of my family hoped I would, in order for me to “learn [my] lesson” and prove why I should’ve gotten an abortion. Yet when Abby was born, everyone was so in love with her and talked about how beautiful she was, as if the word “abortion” was never uttered from their lips. Yet I am pretty sure that they are grateful that I made what I felt was the right decision for me.
Growing up, I didn’t have the confidence in myself that I now have and it was never instilled in me until people noticed that I had low self-esteem. But when my daughter was born, I made a vow to myself that she would never grow up thinking that she wasn’t beautiful because others said so. So, when she was able to speak in complete sentences, I immediately began to place her in front of the mirror after bath time and have her say, “I love you, Abby! *blow herself a kiss* Bye-bye, Abby!” I had no idea that what I was doing is why she has the confidence that she now possesses. She always has been (and probably always will be) the life of the party. She has such an infectious personality and she’s never afraid to be herself.
Another thing that amazes me is how smart she is. Abby’s reading level is two grades ahead of her current one (2nd grade), she loves to learn something new, and is constantly trying to get ahead of herself. Yet I must say that with raising a child like Abby, it can be difficult because she’s so eager to be a part of everything and she’s always moving around, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Every obstacle I have faced in motherhood so far has helped shape me into the woman I am today, and for that reason alone, I regret nothing!
When I told her that she was going to be a big sister, we were on a field trip and every kid, teacher, & chaperone knew about it before it was over. She’d been waiting for this for over 4 years and felt the need to let EVERYONE know about it – even complete strangers! (lol) And thus far, she has been a GREAT big sister! She’s been so good and quick at it, that I have to tell her to calm down sometimes so I can do things myself! But even though it can be a bit overwhelming, I am so happy that she shares the same love that I have for my son and is excited to help guide him in the right direction.
This little human being has changed my life in more ways than I could have imagined. She has taught me how to love more, be patient (as well as kind), and most importantly – how to slow down and enjoy life. She is the best thing I ever had…