I am Amazing…or am I?

 

When I first came across this quote, I saw it in a Facebook group, run by the lovely, Elva Li. I felt like the post was meant for me, but immediately doubted myself when I remembered my (then) current situation in life. I mean, I didn’t have a job, no place of my own, and illegally driving my car. There’s nothing “amazing” about that, so what was I kidding by telling myself that lie?

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The UN-Cool Kid

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As long as I can remember, I have always been an outcast. I’ve never fit in anywhere, and to this day, I still don’t. FOR example, the words that best describe me are as follows: eccentric, misunderstood, freak, bizarre, peculiar, and just plain ole WEIRD. So let me tell you why…

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Tokyo Drifting

Back in 2008, I was checking my MySpace account and came across an interesting individual by the name of Tokyo Diiva. Someone on my friends list shared the link to a song she made for the Bad Girls Club and I immediately fell in love with her look and her sound! Apparently the producers of the show did as well, because it was the theme song for seasons 2 through 15!

Photo Credit: @tokyodiiva

Until recently, I had no idea where her name originated from exactly, but if you know anything about the fashion industry in Tokyo, you would understand with one glimpse of her. Her eccentric, yet original, style speaks volumes without her ever having to mention her name.

Photo Credit: @tokyodiiva

This beautiful lyricist (who absolutely hates to be called a rapper) lives a jet-setting life that most would envy. One minute, she’s in Jamaica, then Spain, Miami, NYC, LA, Hong Kong, Bangkok, and then back home to Norway! I mean, who wouldn’t want to travel the world and get paid to do it? And since she’s only in her 20s and has her whole life in front of her, why not enjoy it?

Photo Credit: @tokyodiiva

Her style has elements of the 80s, 90s, and the next millennia incorporated into it without looking as if she’s trying too hard. What’s even better is that her Instagram feed is full of mind-blowing images that are just as lavish and luxurious as she is – and her IDGAF attitude makes her even more captivating!

Photo Credit: @tokyodiiva

With inspiration from Cindy Crawford, Linda Evangelista, & Julia Roberts’ character in Pretty Woman, it’s no wonder why she’s a force to be reckoned with. And I believe that one day she’ll take over the world — bunny ears and all.

Photo Credit: @tokyodiiva

Back to Back

From my birthday in 2015 until the end of 2016, I hit a very low point in my life. I dealt with another unplanned pregnancy, the loss of a government job, getting rid of a toxic ex, getting put out of my grams house (which I do not blame her for), moving in with my best friend, getting harassed by the police, getting evicted from my own place, and MORE family drama.

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Cake…Cake…Cake…

On October 22nd, I (somewhat) celebrated my 28th birthday. I had been looking forward to that day for so long, that I was having dreams about how EPIC it was going to be. Yet because life loves to throw curveballs and put a damper in whatever plans you make, none of my visions came through. I envisioned myself coming alive in the night as I painted the town red, but instead, I had to work and ended up getting extremely sick.

Yet the bright side to it all was that I got a pair of boots I’ve wanted forever and I spent the night with my babies and my best friend. And even though I felt cheated out of having a good day, I was pretty content and thankful to be around people I loved that also loved me….

Guts Over Fear

We cannot start over, but we can begin now, and make a new ending…

– Zig Ziglar


For some people, starting over can be scary. But I think that it can only be scary because it tends to take you out of your comfort zone and requires you to actually make a change. Lucky for me, I love change and reinventing myself, so I welcomed this much needed transformation into my life with open arms. But it wasn’t as easy as I thought it would be… Continue reading